As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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