don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Damn victory sex feels great
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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