Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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