They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I had to cum in my sink.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
