Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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