I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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