Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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