that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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