I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
