The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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