Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
