Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I am midnight drunk by noon
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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