Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
