last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
