Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize