I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
