I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
