HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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