And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
