Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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