he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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