how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Drunk is not a location!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
