please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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