so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
