He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
