Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize