My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
