Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
