Jerry, you need to find god
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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