Dude my mom stole all your condoms
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
