The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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