When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
