im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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