Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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