Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
