I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Bang-toberfest begins!!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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