her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
