the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
