What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
