I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
