in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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