using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
