If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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