I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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