you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
don't judge my taste in strippers
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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