so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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