the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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