you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
