so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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