I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
NoShamevember. You game?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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