so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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