He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
