I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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