if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
