i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
