I think scott just propositioned me for sex
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
