I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
