Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
