Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
