Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
