Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize