dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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